LochNesz - Monster


Monster

The mast was my sword and the deck was my helm
As I prepared to enter the hideous monster's realm.
I stopped cursing the wind that blew me to this doom
I wasn't gonna let this ship become my tomb anytime soon.

I saw him coming at me, I nearly wet myself
Next to him I was nothing but a tiny little elf
For my bravery I should have won medals
'Cause I didn't scream too loud when he showed me his tentacles.

[chorus]
The monster's close, I have no plan
I just wish I had a frying pan
Large enough to cook the bastard
And serve him up with a barrel of mustard.

I try to sober up, but there's no chance in hell
My urine's purely rum as far as anyone can tell.
There's nothing I can do, I'm drunk as a lord
Actually that might explain all these leprechauns on board.

I saw him coming at me, I nearly wet myself
Next to him I was nothing but a tiny little elf
For my bravery I should have won medals
'Cause I didn't scream too loud when he showed me his tentacles.

[chorus] x2

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