I was sent away as a teenager when my love for my sister had been discovered | Time nor space will allow me to forget that connection, in my dreams I hear her calling | I don´t expect anyone to understand, but I don´t care, you ain´t getting in my way | The heart wants what it wants, and I fear jess is getting on with other boys | My collect calls are declined on the holidays | Doped up on xanax bars I´d be made to sleep for days, but that shit is just a speed bump Leave well enough alone, that´s what I´ve learned in the sessions | But Medicare funded mental health care is just what you´d expect | When I returned home I found that the whole family haad moved | All I was told was they went out of state | I´m in my thirties now and my pilgrimage has just begun | To find my sister love and the one´s who´d done me wrong | God was on my side and he helped me jump a train to Virginia where my grandparents had been from | I was greeted at the doorway and asked how I had found them | Behind my fathers mammoth frame I saw my mother weeping | Out of guilt they told me I could stay, but just one night | I accepted the offer and accepted the fact that my family had disowned me | I tried to bring it up casually about her whereabouts and my father began to scream | His spit hit me as he blamed me for her suicide | They claimed I had raped her | My life of yearning was to be for naught, I couldn´t get past this | I grabbed my things and marched to the door, defiant in the knowledge | This time I had not been in the wrong | She must have missed me too; it helps me at night | Maybe I misread the signals all those moons ago | Either way, nobody´s going to live to see tomorrow, with my pick and my spade | I´ll never rely on anyone to help with my family grave. |
